Carol Queen , sexologist and sex activist, refers to anal play as the great equalizer. She points out that the bum, the anus, the rectum, even the sphincter muscles, can be sites of immense physical and psychological pleasure, and that this pleasure is open to all, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. When I first started working in sex stores, there were straight couples who would come in to buy dildos and harnesses to explore male anal penetration. But they were few and far between, and the guy would stand in the opposite corner, nervously watching to see what his partner was buying for him. These days there are books, educational videos, and even toy kits devoted to BOB, and while it can still be nerve wracking at first, guys are warming up to it.
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The 5 Rules of Anal Play for Straight Men
Which is a good thing! Women who've been there and done that say it's a welcome addition to their sexual repertoire. But just like you must walk before you can run, you must have some sort of anal foreplay before you go for the full monty of anal sex. Or, you know, you can do butt play and leave it at that forever, because it's your booty and you make the rules. You hopefully already know the basics: ALWAYS use lube, never put something that was in your butt in your mouth or vagina, and butt plugs are your friend.
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Lots of straight men are turned off by the idea of anal play to be fair, many bi and gay men are too , and as a result are missing out on a whole world of fun. This is the third in a multi-part series from After Hours about anal play. You can see the other posts in the series as they come out here.
The reality is that for many gay men, anal sex can be a real source of anxiety. In fact to some degree, there still exists anti-gay sentiment in many parts of the United States. With the legalization of same sex marriage however, it does appear societal views are changing.